It's always has been her
by clexaverse
Summary: She got that stupid goofy smile plastered in her face, while she walks down the aisle in that beautiful white gown. That dress really goes through with her amazing small body. Her eyes catches mine as she flashes that smile reserved only for me, but then I felt my soul left my body as soon as she turned her head to the other side, to look at the person she'll marry and not me.


AN

Just had some bechloe breakdown the other day because of a tumblr posts. I saw something in the site about weddings stuffs in pp and got the idea to make it happen.

I hope I won't actually ruin the imagine. It's been so long since I've written a bechloe fic, so I would like to know what y'all think with this. Hope y'all enjoy!

/ this has been sitting for months but anyways, dedicated to a special friend who's always there for me when i breakdown with bechloe or sendrick. you know who you are /

Disclaimer

I do not own anything from Pitch Perfect, it belongs to all the creators. If it is mine, Bechloe would be endgame. I said what I said.

 **It's always has been her**

Chapter 1

Is it that smirk of hers got me since from the first time?

Or

That amazing smile of hers that barely shows up, but when she is around me, I always see it. That smile that reaches out her eyes every time I do something silly. Like, plays with her hair even she does hate it but I know deep down she loves it. It's also could be when I tell her some corny jokes, but hers was definitely cornier. Maybe when I sing off key tries to play around with random songs while we're lying on a bed.

My head on her legs as she plays with my fingers, sometimes she latches it together and just hold it, that she seems never wanting to let go. I see that joy in her eyes that's someone barely notices it from her because they don't know Beca as I do.

I always know I could make her happy. The first time I laid my eyes on her, I know she is the one, the one I'll make sure everyday of her life will be worth it. It's sure does silly to say love at first sight is a thing. But maybe I could say that in my experience.

I still remember the times we had together, where we shared happy, sad, devastating, and memorable memories. That all I will treasure.

Today, everything will change, everyone's life will change. I know it will change for greater good. We will live the life we both planned together.

This day, a beautiful wedding will be done in an amazing church that Beca always wanted to get married in. She told me about her dream wedding. I know some people might think it's Beca, she is not that kind of person who wants to settle in, but they're all wrong.

Deep down that rebel side of hers and dark clothing that changed a bit into a lighter tone, she is just a normal woman who dreamt about wedding and it is my pure pleasure to be in that amazing day of hers.

I clutched both of my hands together because of nervousness. I feel like I'm going to breakdown when I'll finally see her standing on the other side of the church. I tried to keep my tears in bay because I really want to be happy today.

I want to support her.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and that is when my stance broke. I turned to Aubrey who gave me a smile to encourage me, I also saw Amy shrugging at me.

"Chlo, you need to keep it together okay?" Aubrey said lowly.

I flashed a bright smile that didn't even reached my eyes. "I am happy for her Bree and trust me I'm keeping it together."

"I wish I couldn't actually tell when you're lying because I'm seeing that now." Aubrey pointed out and she is not even wrong about it.

I ignored it.

"In any moment Beca will walk down the aisle, in a beautiful white dress she loves." I tried to imagine her smile in my head. "As she look at in our way, that dorkiness in her smile Aubrey. You already saw that right?" I asked her.

"I did, when you tell her stupid things that's the time when she uses that. Chloe I-"

I stopped her. "It'll be the best, I couldn't be more happy for her."

Before Aubrey could reply, the huge double wood door of the church opened and that's when I saw Beca. A smile immediately flashes through my features. The slow melodies of instruments came into life and changed the scenery of the whole church, from silent to a relaxing sound that everyone in the room really felt the calmness of every beat of the instruments.

She got that stupid goofy smile plastered in her face, while she walks down the aisle in that beautiful white gown. That dress really goes through with her amazing small body. Her eyes catches mine as she flashes that smile reserved only for me, but then I felt my soul left my body as soon as she turned her head to the other side, to look at the person she'll marry and not me.

a few months before

Chloe's currently sitting on her couch, ice cream in her hands and a marathon of Orphan Black is playing in her tv. Another lazy day for her, but let's all be honest who wouldn't want to just lie all day on a couch and just binge watch some series.

Instead of thinking about Beca all day, how about treat herself good for once.

But then, the person she wants to forget for a moment suddenly came into her mind. Chloe didn't paid attention to anything in her surroundings, but she only thought of Beca thay should have been with her at the moment.

But again, she remembered that Beca told her that she will be going somewhere with Jesse.

It's always has been him, even from the beginning, it's always been Jesse.

A tear rolled down the red head's face.

She didn't know why she never had the chance to tell Beca what she really felt, but deep down, she knows it's for the best. Ever since the first and the last year in college, she never had the strength. Now that they are all grown ups, Chloe is still that scared person when it comes to Beca.

She just want her best friend to be happy.

Even it's not with her.

Years of Beca and Jesse being together, they might have a small fights, but they always get through it.

The times Chloe has a little brunette crying on her arms, when she calms the thundering hurting heart of hers, and tells her that it's going to be okay.

She wished that she never saw how painful looks on Beca because it hurts her so much.

But, there were times where she has a Beca being all smiley ear to ear because of some cliche things Jesse did for her, like filled her room with roses and a treat of movie night in their three years anniversary, typical Jesse Swanson.

What could Chloe Beale even do for her?

She couldn't compete with someone that's been Beca's lover since the beginning. But anyways, it was all the past.

But her feelings for Beca never been in the past, it's still in the moment as she's trying to enjoy a free day of hers and became a mess because of her thoughts of the brunette.

Her always thoughts.

Chloe blinked a few times, chuckled and shook her head. She's thinking about her again, why she's even doing this to herself.

It's like, she's been trapped, in a good and painful way.

The scene of the Orphan Black episode was when Helena is dressed as Alison and killed the drug dealer people.

God, Chloe love that little psycho so much.

She paused the episode and lie back on the couch. She took a deep breathe and tries to calm herself.

Trying to remind herself that she needs to put aside her feelings, because it's all too late.

It's so late that had Aubrey stay up all night in random times because her best friend were calling her and talking about how stupid she were for not telling Beca sooner.

Yep, it's her to blame, the weakness in her.

Chloe jumped a little as she heard a fast knock on her door and a voice came after.

"Chlo! It's Beca, can you open up?"

It's that even a question for her to answer, of course Chloe will open the door for her, even in the middle of the night.

The red head heard the enthusiastic voice of Beca and she knows that her night out with Jesse in their fourth year anniversary went great.

Another story of happiness from Beca and another crying in her sleep for her.

She sighed and tried to make herself presentable. Chloe put that fake smile and she knows Beca will notice it, but she can't do anything at the moment. She's too damaged by her own mind.

Chloe went for the door and opened it. The first thing she saw was how gorgeous Beca is as always and that smirk of hers. It always, for real, making her just want to tell Beca how adorable it was, even if the brunette already knows it.

Because she keeps telling her about it.

She wants it to last for a long time, but it won't happen.

She greeted Beca with a hug, which the brunette returned.

"What brings you here? I thought you were with Jesse." Chloe asked and let Beca in her apartment. Beca didn't answered her question, not until they reached the couch and sat on it. Now, she has that grin on her face.

"Are you going to tell me or not?" Chloe chuckled and tried to go on.

Chloe again didn't heard any answer, but instead, Beca put her left hand up and that's her answer.

The ginger saw the flashing ring on Beca's finger.

She felt herself choking, but she can't.

She can feel the tears wanting to escape her inner, but she can't.

She wants to run away from her best friend, but she can't.

"Oh my god! He proposed to you!" Chloe exclaimed and the way her voice cracked in the end is just fucked up. She immediately put up her other best fake smile, but deep down she is hurting.

She needs to be happy for Beca, but she can't.

"He did! We were walking in the park earlier and suddenly a group of people playing the violin came in and plays a song. That's when he got down on his knee and proposed to me." Beca keeps smiling as she tells Chloe her story.

It's not an old story of how Beca can tell if something is bothering Chloe and she knows, something is up.

She is hurting too much.

The brunette shook her head, trying to keep herself for being happy and replays the scene of what just her boyfriend and now her fiance did for her earlier.

But she can't, the pain in her best friend's eyes is striking her own eyes.

"I'm really happy for you Beca, I hope you know that." Even it's hurting me. "It's what you've been wanting from the start, your wedding is going to be amazing and I can't wait for it." I just can stay home in that day.

"I- I know Chlo and I want you to be my maid of honor because you're my best friend." Beca broke the news and she felt the trickling in her spine as she saw Chloe's fake smile.

"I'm totally not going to miss your big day, specially I'm the maid of honor. Just pray for me to not fucked up that day." Chloe winked at Beca, trying to keep going. Just keep it together Chloe.

"You'll be amazing in that day." Beca smiled at Chloe, wanting to see her best friend being supportive for her and she's seeing that.

But her eyes says other things.

It's all too late now, Beca thought to herself.

"Can I stay the night? I feel like not wanting to go home tonight, besides, your home is my home too because you're in it." Beca plead and Chloe couldn't say no to that.

"Yeah right Mitchell. Go in my room and I'll follow you there." Chloe smiled at her.

Beca obeyed, as she got some distance, she looked back at Chloe who's staring point blank on the floor.

She sighed.

Me too Chloe, me too, Beca thought.

Chloe clenched her jaw and turn off the tv. She fixed the living room before following Beca in her own room.

She just want Beca in her life, but she can't and will never have.

Present

No One's POV

Chloe tried so hard to keep it together as Aubrey told her to, but the moment Beca's eyes left hers, that's when she lost it.

She feels her future crumbling down into pieces and no one could ever fix it for her.

Except for one person, one person whom Chloe loved dearly, secretly and getting married in any moment now.

A tear rolled down on her cheek. She looked at Aubrey and the pain in her best friend's eyes is hurting her because she's the one causing it. "Bree, I thought I could do it, but I can't. Just tell her to have a great life, I would see her when I'm ready again and I'm so sorry for fucking up her wedding day."

Chloe didn't waited to any reply. She gave Beca a one last look and walked away from the church.

No one noticed her leave because of the ceremony that's happening in the moment, except Aubrey, Amy, and the bride.

Beca stopped in the middle of the aisle, but the melodies of the song keeps playing in the background.

She clenched her jaw, trying to contain herself from following Chloe.

She knows what's up, she knows it even from the beginning.

Why is she so stupid not to care about it, about the pain she's causing Chloe.

How can she blame herself, if the red head didn't even made any moves before.

But she knows deep inside that's she is wrong too, in ways that she could possibly think of.

What to do, that's all she's thinking of at the moment. Not the looks that the people are giving her because she literally stopped, not the worried look in Jesse's face, or the confused look that the priest is giving her.

She needs to make it right.

She should have made it right from the beginning.

Beca took a step forward and a deep breathe.

She felt the bouquet of flowers slowly fell off from her hands. Her hands automatically gripped the dress she's wearing.

She ran to Jesse to apologize to what she's going to do, but the look in his eyes tells another story, it seems like her fiance already knows it. "Go on, she'll make you more happier than I can."

My ex fiance told me.

"You are a good man Jesse, always know that." Beca caressed his cheek for the last time and smiled at him.

"I know, just go to Aubrey first before she lost her mind worrying about Chloe. I'll be fine here telling the guests that there will be no wedding that's going to happen anymore." Jesse chuckled and nodded at Beca.

The brunette went to best friends and all she saw in their faces is worry for their red headead friend. Beca lookes at Aubrey in the eyes. "I'll make this right Bree, I promise."

The blonde felt sad for the man who's in the background telling their love ones that there's no wedding that's going to happen anymore, but her heart aches for both Beca and Chloe because they both are in pain since everything happened.

She reached out for Beca's shoulder, "Please take care of her or you know the rest."

"I know Bree, I'm so sorry it took me so long." Beca said.

"You don't have to apologize to me or to anyone, just figure everything out, with Chloe." Aubrey gave Beca and encouraging nod and a smile.

Beca ripped the bottom part of her wedding dress so as her veil and ran away from the church and the commotions in the church is deafening as she goes far away to find Chloe and do what's right.

It took Beca a few minutes looking for Chloe, but then she caught a glimpse of a familiar red a fiery hair nearby.

She took a deep breathe and slowly walks towards Chloe.

"I got to say, the ducks are pretty cute this close." Beca chuckled as she sat next to Chloe.

The red head turned her attention to the new comer and was shocked to see Beca. "Beca! What are you doing here?!"

Chloe don't know, she doesn't. What if it is because Beca got mad because her maid of honor ran away from her wedding and this is the time Beca will talk some sense to her and ask her to come back in the church and finish the wedding.

But Chloe couldn't.

She just couldn't bare to go back and see the woman she loves get married to another person and not her.

No answer from the brunette, but Chloe couldn't wait.

"Seriously Beca, what are you doing here? You have a wedding to finish! Jesse must be waiting for you in the church. Just please go." She said that weakly.

Beca look at Chloe, "Everyone's waiting back there Chlo-"

"No I can't go back in there, I can't say the reaso-"

"I know the reasons Chloe!"

Chloe got stunned and her gaze to brunette softened. "Y-you do?"

"I always know." Beca brushes the loose hair on Chloe's face and smile at her. "And yet I always am so stupid."

"You're not stupid, we both are." They chuckled. "I'm sorry I destroyed your wedding. In the next one, I promise I won't run away again and bare it." Chloe said the last part painfully.

"There will be no wedding anymore Chloe. Don't you get it?"

"What do you mean there's no wedding anymore?! That can't be right! You'll be happy with the man that you love."

Beca reached out for Chloe's neck and slowly pull her face towards hers as their foreheads touched. "I chose you Chloe and always will." She said lowly with happiness in it and the red head could tell that she is sincere.

But the guiltiness of her destroying Jesse's dream is overwhelming.

Beca see Chloe's eyes softened and moved in other direction, that indicated she's worried on something and feels responsible in it. "If you're thinking about Jesse, he knows. Don't worry about him Chlo."

Chloe backed away a little from Beca. "I - I just destroyed Jesse's life."

Of course Chloe would think that to herself.

Beca reached out for the red head's hand and clutched it. "Chloe look at me," Chloe did. "Don't you ever dare blame yourself for every that has happened because it is not your fault, do you understand me?" Beca tries to convince the red head. "Please don't ever blame yourself."

"Beca bu-"

"No more thinking about the others Chloe, they're fixing it back there and we will together, yes together, face them all when we're ready." Beca assures Chloe who nodded.

"Can I ask you a question?" Chloe said.

"Anything."

"Do you feel the same about me?" She just want to hear it herself, she's been wanting to hear it.

"It's always has been you Chloe and I'm just a fucking stupid bitch who never gets her life straight and was so afraid of the true love lies before us and is truly sorry for all the heart aches I've caused you." Beca deeply told Chloe.

"I always have love you since the first." Chloe stated dearly and smiled at Beca.

Beca sighed and pulled Chloe's body closer beside her. She let her guards down and let her head rest upon the shoulder of the red head. Her arm still wrapped on the side of Chloe who she knows smiling as they look at the small river in front of them.

"I always know and always feel the same way." She finally truly smiled, just knowing she and Chloe have all the time in the world to build their relationship once again.

"We truly are so fucking stupid bitches, aren't we?"

"Never said better than me Chlo." Beca looked up on her side and kissed Chloe on the side of her mouth.

The both of them just stayed there until the sun above them finally turned into darkness. They're both contented with the presence of their lovers beside them, they both never felt like this before. Feeling so fresh and free.

Beca always got that thought in the back of her mind every time she is with Chloe, it's always has been her.

-end-

I don't know if I did that justice, but yeah that's it! I hope y'all appreciated the little one shot I've made. I just miss pitch perfect so much. If y'all want to drag me, leave me some reviews or anything. Thanks.x

~j


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